I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize