Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
there is puke in my bra ... again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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