why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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