Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
