He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
