OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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