At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
