better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
