Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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