Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
