oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
