those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
