brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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