3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
