just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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