She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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