No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
