Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
