that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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