I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
