if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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