I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
