Jerry, you need to find god
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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