I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
