you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
try to milk me bitch
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