Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
