oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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