Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
