So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
