If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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