Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize