She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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