the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
