Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
