thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
