you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
