Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
