He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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