Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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