new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
