I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
