these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
