Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
