Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize