I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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