I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
