Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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