I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
