I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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