Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
