I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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