Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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