I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
