You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
