Grow some girl-balls and come out already
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
