im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
