it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
