That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
