why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
