Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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